I'm NEVER saying this again about people on welfare

Some of you might know that in the past 2 years my family has fallen on hard times.... REALLY hard times and I'm here to tell you I am NEVER going to say this one particular phrase again.

You see, in years past I would get infuriated when I'd see people on food stamps wearing designer clothes, nice jewelry and decent to luxury vehicles and I would always turn to my husband and say "I'd sell everything I had before I got on welfare." I'm NEVER saying that again.

You see, although my family is not on assistance, I have tried to sell everything we have. Guess what? People aren't buying. If they do, it's for peanuts.

What I have sold thus far, sold for so little it barely sustains us. I have sold a $4000+ vehicle for $350 just so we could eat. My other vehicle has been for sale for months. It's inoperable. Not any use to us because we cannot afford to fix it. There's been people offering to buy it, getting our hopes up, just for them to never show up without calling to cancel . I've sold all my clothes but 2 pairs of jeans and 3 shirts. I have no jacket. Same for my husband. My kids have jackets though. All clothes sold for about $177.

I have been trying to sell an engagement ring for months. No one is buying. Same goes for earrings and necklaces. The jewelry I did manage to sell went for way less than it's worth but we needed to eat and pay bills.

I have tried to have garage sales. People look, hardly any buy.

My husband cashed in his retirement. That's gone now.

Many will ask why we're not on assistance no. I'll write about that hell in a future post.

So before you judge someone like I did about having nice things while on assistance, remember this: The rest of the country has reached hard economic times and they're not buying.... even with a ridiculously low price

I'm eating crow for dinner tonight.

Parents: Stop doing your kids' projects!!!!

We all have them in our children's schools. You know who they are. They're the parents who think projects were assigned to them, not their children.

I have four children. Three that are in school. Guess how many projects/assignments I have done for my children.... go ahead, guess! ZERO! That's right, ZERO.... and I never will.

I find it appalling when I take my kids to school and see projects you know damn well were done by the parents. These amazing works of art that include: painting, hot glue guns, hammers and nails, soldering irons, wirework, battery packs and for shits 'n' giggles... welding.

It's insulting on so many levels. It's insulting to the children who actually did their assignment. It's insulting to the other parents when you attempt to tell us little Timmy did the project all by himself and it's absolutely insulting to the teachers intelligence that you think they don't know YOU did the project!

So my question to you parents out there who do this is: WHAT THE HELL IS YOUR PROBLEM? Seriously. I mean, why do you think this is remotely ok?  Don't even use your kids age as an excuse. Helping is one thing but doing the whole project is NOT helping.

Are you going to do all your kids projects when they're 30 and working? Don't answer that.

Fact is, you are in no way, shape or form helping your children. Projects help facilitate growth on so many levels.
They help facilitate the thinking process and their imaginations. A teacher can get to know your children so much better when they ask about the child's project and THEIR thoughts come out. Not YOUR thoughts. They get to learn about trial and error and how to resolve issues. They get to learn how to research. They learn public speaking and how to explain their projects and THEIR thought process in front of the class.

Physical things even occur. Motor skills and dexterity are challenged.

So, what you're in fact doing when you do your children's assignments is stifling their growth. You're telling your children that you don't trust them. That they aren't even good enough to try. You're telling them their work isn't good enough.
You're telling them you're embarrassed by them.

You'll eventually usher in resentment, then laziness and entitlement.

As to the teachers who allow such behavior.... why?  It's not fair to the kids who worked hard and did  their work. It sets a horrible example. It even sets an expectation that the parents can do their work. NOT COOL.

Ask the child if they did the project and how. If they say their parent did it or can't explain how it was done because their parents did it, give them a big, fat ZERO. Stop awarding the bad behavior of the parents by giving the project a grade!

I know I've probably offended some parents who do their kids work but, I don't care. You're actions are despicable and desperate and just downright ridiculous. Knock it the hell off already.

Having to Move With Four Children

As some of you may know, my husband has been unemployed for a year now. Finally yesterday we got word that he was hired. WOO HOO!!! But now we'll have to move. BOO!!

Being that we're both Marine Corps Veteran's, we're quite used to moving. Our 16 year old is as well but the other three kids not so much. Although I am used to moving, I don't particularly enjoy it and I have never had to move with four kids in tow.

I have also never had to sell a home and buy at the same time and let's just say I can feel my hair falling out just thinking about it.

We're not moving too far away, but it's definitely far enough to wreak havoc on my sanity...what's left of it that is.

One of our moves was a ten hour drive and our oldest daughter literally cried for all ten hours. Guess what? The new baby HATES the car! Loathes it. If she had the dexterity she would light a match and set the damn thing on fire.

 

 

 



We have been preparing our kids for months that there was a 99% chance of moving. But wouldn't you know the day after telling the kids the eldest daughter has decided that she doesn't want to move and we're the "worst people ever." I mean it's not like we provide her food, water, clothing, shelter, rides to and from her friends houses, electronics, books and toys or anything. Typical diva 'tude I tell ya. As if I needed that lunacy right now.

 

I have been working on becoming more organized in this chaos and have created a moving binder... ok it's a notebook. It has a list of supplies I need. It has tasks that need to get done. It has an overnight bag list for the night we move. Yes night. If you have ever heard "they just got up and moved in the middle of the night" it's probably because the people had a baby they were trying to keep asleep while moving to their new home. Anyway it has a list of what we're keeping and not keeping and it has a list by day what chores need to get done. I intend to purge, purge, purge in case we have to downsize our home. 

 

 I will also have to cancel then restart services and change addresses. I'm not sure I want my mail forwarded. I think the new owners should take on my bills LOL Just kidding but seriously.

 

I'm really starting to feel the stress of buying and selling. I keep hearing "you'll probably need to rent for a while." NOOOOOOOOO!!!!I can't even imagine moving these kids, cat and dogs more than once. Just the thought of it makes me want to jump in the minivan and get out of Dodge.

 

Anyone else ever had to deal with this? What advice would you give to a poor soul like me to make things go smooth as possible? Leave a comment below. I'm anxiously waiting.

 

 

 

 

 

 





 

I Am A Contest Freak!

Along with my love of frugality I loooooovvveeee me some contests! I will enter just about any contest I come across. It's such a thrill when I get an email, phone call or letter stating I won something. It's just so exciting.


People always ask if I really win and is it worthwhile. My response is always "HELL YEAH!"
I have won many prizes that otherwise would have been too expensive for me. I have won Lasik eye surgery(unfortunately I was not able to redeem because I had moved away), a diamond ring, a year supply of bacon, a year supply of cat food, purses, books, bracelets, perfume, cameras, earrings, sunglasses and many other things.

I have been entering contests daily for about seven years now. This year I am hoping to win a vehicle or large monetary prize. That would just be an amazing feat.

I'd like to share a few techniques to help you if you're thinking of becoming a contestant.

1. Enter every contest you come across. Whether it's at the mall or county fair, chances are most people are passing by and not entering because they think it's a waste of time and/or they won't win. 
2. Find websites online that specialize in compiling contests. There are many out there. You just need to find the ones that have layouts you prefer.
3. Set up autofill on your computer to make filling out forms easier.
4. Set up a separate email address for your contests. Your email will fill up quite quick from sponsors emails.
5. Never enter a contest you can't afford the taxes on. Some contests give a check to cover the taxes but in case they don't you could be stuck with a hefty tax bill.
6. Have fun!  

Make sure you subscribe to my site. I'll soon be launching a contest of my own! Please leave a comment and let me know what kind of prizes you'd like to win!

I Didn't Tell Anyone I Was Pregnant

I was almost thirty eight. I already had three kids. One was only two years from graduating high school. I was not trying for a fourth but not not trying if you get my drift.

I had found out at just about five months along and I found it very hard to tell anyone I was pregnant. I wasn't ashamed. I wasn't embarrassed. I just didn't want to hear anyone's shit.

My husband was recently unemployed and I didn't want to hear the "What are you going to do?"
I didn't want to hear the judgment about my age. I didn't want to hear about my husband or I "getting fixed." I didn't want people talking crap about possible names and I for sure didn't want to hear about how many children I already had or the fact I was considering homebirth.  I just wanted to be left alone.

But where is the rule I have to tell anyone anyway? Where is it set in stone?

I really struggled with how to tell anyone. I've never had a positive experience when I told people in the past and I just dreaded telling anyone this time around. I shared my angst with my midwife. She said "I didn't tell anyone I was pregnant until after the baby was born. They could either accept her or move on." That helped me feel so much better. I was no longer the only one who has ever dealt with this struggle. Although I didn't consciously say I wasn't going to tell anyone until after the baby's  arrival; it happened that way.

I've been fortunate no one has asked me why I didn't announce my pregnancy. I'm happy not to re-hash those emotions. I don't have the desire to get into it and explain how past reactions pushed me to this point. I wanted to enjoy my last pregnancy as much as possible and I just want to enjoy her now that she's here. I don't want anything ruining that with their unwelcome, negative comments.

I can't imagine ever saying the things to a pregnant woman that I've had said to me. I would never want them to have negative, unnecessary memories of their pregnancies and I hate there's people out there who actually think it's ok to behave in such a manner.

Some may say it's selfish I didn't tell anyone, I say it was maintaining sanity.

One thing is for sure though, now that she's here there's not one person who doesn't love her. She's spoiled rotten and I couldn't be happier.

I Had No Clue I Was Pregnant

You've seen the shows about women going into labor and exclaiming "I had NO idea I was pregnant!" and we all roll our eyes and say "Ya right! How could you not know?"

Yes, I was one of those women judging and mocking those poor women..... until it happened to me.

You'd think after 3 pregnancies I'd be a pro and know the very second my body conceived but I'm here to admit this is not the case LOL I'm just glad I wasn't one of the ladies who found out while in labor.

I was not feeling too well. I have a bladder disease and often feel like I'm having a UTI even when I don't. The symptoms were getting more and more uncomfortable so I decided to go in to make sure it was just my regular issue and not a UTI. On my way out the door, my husband says "Have them do a pregnancy test" to which I responded "No, thanks I'm cool."

As I sat in a paper gown in the ice cold examination room waiting for my results, pregnancy was by far the last thing on my mind. I was almost 38. My youngest and last child (so I thought) was 7. There was a lot of stress in my life. My father had just had a major stroke and my husband had recently become unemployed. Pregnancy was the last thing I could imagine. So you could imagine my shock when the doctor walked in and said ""Did you know you're pregnant?"

I said "Wait WHAT?!?" as I recollected back in slow motion what my husband said to me as I left the house "Haaaaaavvvveeee tttthhhheeeemmm doooo aaa ppprrreeegggnnnaanncccyyy ttteeesssttt"

That bastard jinxed me!!!!

I really couldn't believe it. My next shock would be when I found out how far along I was.

The next week I went in for an ultrasound. I was thinking I'd be 8 weeks tops. "19 WEEKS??? WHAT  DO YOU MEAN 19 WEEKS???" Panic set in. I was so not ready for this.

Then came "Do you want to find out the sex?" I had already had enough surprises I wasn't going to wait until delivery to find out the sex of the baby. "It's a girl!" the tech said. I looked over at my husband and his eyes were welling up. I was still in mass shock. It didn't feel real.

Now that she's here it feels quite real LOL

By now you're thinking the most infamous question "how did you not know?" Well, I actually thought I was going through perimenopause. I had been spotting for months prior to and a little during pregnancy.TMI? Sorry. I had no idea I was pregnant. I was still in my regular clothes and didn't have any of the pregnancy symptoms I had with my other pregnancies. No migraines, no nausea and no unusual mood swings. I was just my normal day to day self.

So in the future if you're watching one of those shows don't mock the ladies and scoff at them or the "No clue I was pregnant" karma will hit you too

*My husband just informed me that he wasn't welling up; he had something in his eye and he also said don't listen to me about the lack of mood swings :-/

Fashion for the Frugal/Postpartum

One thing you'll learn about me if you stick around here long enough is that I'm ridiculously frugal (or if you want to be rude about it... cheap). I live for a bargain. It's a passion LOL

Once I found out I was pregnant, I searched all over the net and in stores for low priced maternity clothes because I knew they'd be short lived. I bought most of my clothes at Ross, Burlington Coat Factory and Target and still bitched they were too expensive LOL

But what was I going to do once I had the baby and was in those pesky in between sizes that usually cause me to wear my husbands t-shirts and flannel jammie pants? There was NO way I was going to buy anything expensive knowing...er...hoping that I was going to keep going down in size.

Thus began my new mission. Find cute, non-husband jammie clothes that make me feel like myself.

One of the first sites I came across was http://www.10dollarmall.com/
I absolutely love this site. They constantly have new merchandise(to include shoes WOO HOO!) and the shipping is fast. I also had questions and the customer service was outstanding. They have a rewards program that knocks a percentage off your order for reviewing items or making a purchase. I will definitely continue to order from them.

The next place  found was http://www.clothingunder10.com/index.asp They too have cute clothes at a great price. Shipping is reasonable but sadly they don't have shoes :(

 

 

The best priced place I found was https://www.599fashion.com/ I got several basic tops and leggings and even a jacket for an insanely low price. Get this, THEY HAVE SHOES!!!

All of the items pictured I have personally purchased(and some) and not only am I impressed by the price, I'm impressed with the quality. I will for sure continue to shop these stores.

Do you have any stores that are your go to for postpartum fashion or just fashion in general? I'd love to hear about them! Leave me a comment in the comments section below!

DROP THE FOLIC ACID!!!!

When you first get pregnant you want to make sure you do everything right by your growing baby. One thing most moms do is rush out to get prenatal vitamins and most of the time they choose a supplement with synthetic folic acid.

Unfortunately, it has now been shown to up the possibility of breast cancer up to 35% in mothers and increases the risk for asthma up to 30% in the baby according to a recent Australian study.

Doctors and midwives are now suggesting prenatal vitamins containing folate not folic acid to decrease chances of spina bifida, smaller head circumference and certain cancers.

Not only has the US has been adding synthetic folic acid to prenatal vitamins, it has been adding it to many foods like rice, cereal, flours, and pastas thus causing an overdose effect leading to the major side effects listed above.

When I was pregnant I used Vitamin Code Raw Prenatal and am currently using as I am still breastfeeding.

It's important with EVERY pregnancy to research the current science findings as they are constantly changing. With each one of my pregnancies things had changed dramatically. It used to be laying your baby on their stomach, then it was their side and now it's their back. All that change in just 16 years time. So even if your kids are close in age, it's important to check new studies because a lot can change in a short period of time.

Super Cute Diaper Bags With Matching Wipes Case

*This is my personal review. I have not been paid to post this. All statements/opinions are my own

I have had four children. I've had three ugly diaper bags in the past. I didn't want to re-hash it again with the new baby. I wanted style and flair! Glitz and glamour and a little pizzazz. Something funky and not typical.

I found it.

While fiddling around Etsy, I came across this shop https://www.etsy.com/shop/BagsbyMaritza and fell in loooooovvvveee.  This was EXACTLY what I was looking for!

I chose the Cheetah Leopard bag with matching wipes case

I was a little worried about what the quality would be like but that was all put to rest when it arrived. The quality is superb and I constantly get compliments when I go out.

.Shipping was reasonably priced and it arrived lightning fast... within four days.

The bag has enough room for me to put diapers, toys, bottles, clothes, snacks and the wipes case with room to spare....now if only I could get my husband to carry it

Women's Magazines REALLY Irk Me!!

I won't say the names of the mags... they don't deserve any more notoriety than they already have. I'm sure there will be a few people who claim I am being petty but, whatever.

In today's society there's many women's magazines claiming "girl power" and that they want to boost women's self esteem but when you flip through the magazines you can see nothing could be further from the truth.

One particular magazine likes to put a censor bar over a woman's face while writing disparaging remarks about her outfit. You and I may not know who she is but SHE knows who she is and I can't imagine it feels good to have millions of people see your picture along with scathing remarks.

The problem with these magazines is that they don't even try to get to know her. Maybe she's dressed "frumpy" because she has spent the last week at the hospital by the bedside of a loved one.

Maybe she's just given birth and has been up all night...er...all month and is finally able to get out to buy new clothes because her maternity clothes aren't fitting any longer.

Or worse, maybe she's in a controlling relationship where her significant other won't allow her to dress a certain way.

Or maybe JUST MAYBE she likes how she dresses and is comfortable that way.
It's insane to presume she "doesn't know how to dress."

Then you have the "Who Wore It Better" which is essentially batting one woman against another and body shaming the loser.

I just don't ever want my daughters growing up feeling less than just because of an outfit they wore one day. It's ridiculous to think in this day and age we're STILL focusing and ridiculing people over outfits! Have we gained no substance in thousands of years?

You can't claim to be about empowering women and in the very next breath judge them and bully them.

Have I judged a woman by her clothes? Yes, I am guilty of it ....but then again I did grow up reading women's magazines 😜

Woo hoo! My first blog post!

Ok, now what the heck do I write? Hmmm maybe I should start off by saying a lil somethin' somethin' about myself.

Well, I am married and I'm a mama of 4 kids. 16, 10, 8 and 3 months old. Two boys and two girls.
I decided to start this blog because I have seen so many mommy blogs and well, I want in damn it! LOL

I'm straight forward and sarcastic and pretty much known for telling it like it is, so there will be no sugar coating here :)  After 16 years of being a mom I finally decided to write about some of the things I have learned.... and what I am still learning.

This is my outlet to discuss everything from kids to food to reviewing products and everything in between.

I am NOT a professional writer so please, no grammar Nazis. I realize I probably suck with punctuation and what not. Please don't scold me :)

Hope you enjoy reading about my journey. I can't wait to get to know all of you!


~The Mommy Trap